HAPPY FATHER'S DAY: A SPECIAL DEDICATION

Happy Father's Day to all you dads and dad-like figures out there! Today we honor you for you all you do for us. 

I want to give a special dedication to my grandfather who has been my father since the day I was born. 

Thank you for always being there for me no matter what and for loving me just the way I am. 

Thank you for being the one consistent role male model in my life and for teaching me all of life's important little lessons.

Thank you for protecting me and always making me feel safe.

Thank you for your service to your country.

And mostly just thank you for being my Baba (dad in Chinese).

I love you Lao Ye (maternal grandpa in Chinese)

10 Things That Make Me Happy :D

I have been pretty stressed out the last couple of weeks, work and school have been super busy and frustrating. With all this stress and frustration mounting up I decided to stop and take a little break to take care of myself. Here are few little things that make me happy when life isn't going my way. Remember life is short taking care of yourself should always be your number one priority both mentally and physically. 

1.) MUSIC

Music has always been there for me whenever I needed. It calms me and sends me to a little world that is just my own. I pretty much listen to every genre out there even a little country now and then. I post weekly playlists a couple times a month so if you ever interested in what I am currently listening to check them out! 

2.)  COOKING

I am a huge FOODIE. I love to eat so much that I consider it a hobby. I am also very adventurous when it comes to food which led me to learn how to cook. Cooking is an art. There is just something so therapeutic in cooking from the prep to the finish product. It gives you a sense of empowerment and accomplishment (especially if it tastes good).

3.) HANGING W/MY LIL BRO

If you have siblings, you know that there are always moments where you wished you were an only child. I was one of them and sometimes I still do wonder a bit haha just kidding. I have two younger siblings, a 18 year-old little sister and a 10 year old little brother. My parents are one of those couples who wanted to try their luck having a kid past their prime and luckily for them they succeeded. I am 14 years older than my little bro who for the sake of privacy I will call him *Doug. While Doug may be only 10 I don't consider him a child he is a miniature adult. He understands things that most people in their 40s still don't get. He also doesn't act like a kid. He enjoys watching horror movies with me and Chinese soap operas with my grandmother and mom. I left for college when he was around 4 so I didn't get a chance to really watch him grow up but anytime I get a chance to hang out with him I take it. He never judges you and just loves you for who you are. 

4.) POKEMON

I know many of you are probably judging me reading this but I got no fucks to give. I am 23 years old and I still play Pokemon... enough said

5.) HORROR MOVIES

This might be kind of ironic but horror movies make me happy. I don't know if it is the scare or just watching other people's miseries it is just something I enjoyed ever since I was born. I was exposed to horror movies at an early age not on purpose. I hung around my older guy cousins growing up and it came with the territory. I love the Saw series and anything with a giant mutated creature. You name it I probably seen it... then again my life is like a horror movie sometimes...

6.) BOOKS

Yes, I actually read for fun I know that this might be shocking to most of you out there. This is something that I have taken for granted over the years. With the pressures of work and school I cherish any time I can get reading a book that is not educational. Reading like music sucks me away into another world, a world where I don't have to give any fucks. And who doesn't want to do that?

7.) NETFLIX

I wish I could get paid watching Netflix. Every since I signed up for one I have been hooked.... more like obsessed. If there was a Netflix anonymous meeting I would probably be the first person there.

8.) HONKING AT PEOPLE

Now before you call me crazy, I only honk at pretentious asshole drivers who think they are Vin Diesel. I don't know what is wrong with some of the drivers out there today. Is it really that hard to use your turn signal? Did your teacher ever taught you the word STOP? Are you really that selfish or blind that you have to take up 2 parking spaces for your smart car? I mean come on people...

9.) HANGING OUT W/MY FRIENDS

My friends are some of the best people I know especially the ones who have stuck around this long and if you know me believe me that I am not an easy person to be with. Anytime I am with them my worries just go away. They are always there for me no matter what time of the day or how silly of a problem I have. As Jerry McGuire says "You complete me"

10.) CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKES

I am not a big chocolate person, but I am ALWAYS DOWN for a chocolate milkshake. I was deprived of this when I was younger. My grandmother told me that I would be arrested if I ever drank one and my parents told me that they were drugs in them. As I got older and wiser obviously I knew better and drank them whenever I could especially with french fries... god I am so Americanized... 

Si's Life: GET TO KNOW ME 50 RANDOM FACTS

50 RANDOM FACTS

I wanted to take a little break from my beauty reviews and try something new. I wasn't very sure what I wanted to blog about so I went on YouTube to try to find some inspiration. I came across a couple of random fact videos which surprisingly I really enjoyed watching. So I thought why not do a blog post version of it? So here goes! 

1. I have an unhealthy obsession with pandas, llamas and alpacas.

2. If my career path doesn't work out as planned I am going to move to Peru and become a llama farmer.

3. I think doughnuts so be their own food group.

4. I am bilingual. I speak both Mandarin and English fluently English being my second language.

5. I have been 4'11 since high school (I am 23 years old right now)

6. I am missing a bone in each pinky which allows me to bend it really far back and gross people out.

7. I like to eat blueberry muffins with bacon 

8. I hate eating raw blueberries and only like them in muffins and yogurts.

9. I apparently have serious facial expressions which people misinterpret as anger.

10. I once finished a whole pack of colored Goldfish crackers in less than a hour.

11. I love to cook.

12. My chili is out of this world.

13. I am a very fast reader.

14. Netflix is my one true love and no one can really compete against it.

15. I have 4 kidneys, 3 non-functioning and 1 functioning.

16. If I am really hungry I can eat about 5 times my size.

17. With all the makeup I have accumulated over the years I could probably open up my own department store.

18. I own over 30 pairs of jeans.

19. I love high top sneakers.

20. Chachi Mama sweatpants are probably one of the best things ever invented.

21. Over the last year or so I begun to hate pants so I have been wearing leggings almost everyday. 

22. Despite living in Florida for over 10 years I still hate the weather.

23. My favorite food is fried rice.

24. The only time I really eat salmon is when my mom makes it with kewpie mayo which sounds disgusting but is actually delicious.

25. I am Chinese.

26. I think stupidity is contagious.

27. I don't mind spiders but snakes ugh...

28. Growing up I had many interesting pets like giant bullfrogs, tarantulas, a crow, and even grasshoppers,

29. When I was little my best friend was a big white fluffy chicken whom I raised from the egg.

30. On my fourth birthday my chicken friend disappeared. Later that night my grandmother made chicken for dinner. 

31. I loved Grey's Anatomy so much that I finished 10 seasons in less than 2 months.

32. Sometimes I pretend I'm Kevin Spacey's character in House of Cards.

33. While most people love Olivia Pope on Scandal I think she is a whiny little B****. I don't think she is badass at all her job is but not her.

34. I only listen to Taylor Swift songs when other artists sing them.

35. I managed to solve most of the crime on Law and Order: SVU before the episode ends.

36. I have really bad luck with cell phones. One was ran over by a car and another one flew out of my hand when a skateboarder ran into me. 

37. I always intended on being a lawyer but when registering for my major my college messed up and I ended up with psychology instead of English. It was the best mistake of my life. I am currently pursuing a MA degree in Rehab Counseling. 

38. I can eat spicy tunas like no other.

39. I have terrible allergies when I am in the States however as soon as I go back to China my allergies disappear.

40. I have great relationships with many of my former grade school and high school teachers. They are some of the best people I have ever met.

41. I think it is cool when British people lose their accents when they sing.

42. I am a HUGE TV junkie.

43. My Chinese food cooking skills need a little work.

44. My grandmother is the most important person in my life. 

45. I will never get tired reading the Alex Cross series by James Patterson.

46. Jerry Springer lives about 20 minutes away from the home I grew up in.

47. My whole life (school, work etc.) revolves around the computer.

48. I collect purses and t-shirts from all around the world.

49. Despite living in Florida I hate the beach.

50. I often have eating competitions with my 10 year old little brother who weighs 5 more pounds than I do. I am 110 pounds. He usually wins. 

Si's Life Relationship Series Part 2

Relationship with family

"I know why families were created with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed." -Anais Nin

This is a very touchy topic for me. I didn't grow up in what most people would call a "normal" family setting. I didn't have what most people refer to today as a nuclear family which consists of parents and siblings. My parents had me at a young age and wasn't quite ready to handle the responsibility. And no this isn't one of those Teen Mom stories we see on MTV. My parents had just hit their 20s which was considered quite early back then in China especially when compared to today where 16 year olds are popping out babies like rabbits. My parents when they had me still had an urge to explore the world more and just be young. So I was raised by my grandparents and extended family. While most kids would be terribly upset if their parents abandon them to pursue their own interests, I was quite happy. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, and countless cousins made sure that I grew up loved and loved I was. I still got the occasional check in from my parents who had settled in the states. To be completely honest the years I spent apart with them I never was upset.

Eventually my parents did send for me and at the age of 5 and a half I moved to the states along with my grandparents (who were still my guardians) to be with my parents. My move didn't exactly change the relationship I had with my parents. A couple months later my parents were pregnant with my little sister and years after my little brother so all their focus was evidently on them. My parents and I got along well enough for our situation being the way it was but I was never able to develop that parent child relationship with my parents. Financially they still supported me to try and make up for lost times but it was my grandparents who took over most of the responsibility of raising me from giving me advice to sitting up with me for hours when I got sick. My point of telling my story isn't about venting about my parents or making you guys feel sorry for me but rather families come in all shapes and sizes. Some of us may have parents and grandparents but others may consider friends as their family. Just because you don't have that "perfect nuclear" family it doesn't mean you still can't have your perfect family. I was very fortunate for my extended family and for all they have done for me. Part of being in a family means that no matter what we always need to find a way to accept each other. My parents are who they are and I wouldn't change them. Just because they weren't the best parents to me they are good and kind people and I do love them in my own way and grateful for all they have done for me in my life.

However sometimes as much as we want to love and be loved by our families there are certain situations where we have to know when to walk away. I was recently chatting with a friend of mine who we will call Mary for this blog post (named changed for privacy reasons, but she did give me permission to share her story). Mary's parents divorced when she was really young. She ended up living with her mom. When Mary was 10 her mom died of a brain tumor. She was sent to live her dad in another state. Her dad was remarried so Mary thought she would now have the perfect family. Over the next couple of years things were not good. While Mary gave me her permission to tell her story I still don't feel 100% comfortable sharing it. But I will say that her dad and stepmom are not good people. No matter how much Mary wanted that "perfect" family, she knew she had to get herself out of the situation that clearly wasn't right for her. Mary ended up leaving and moving in with her mom's parents. When Mary was telling me this story I was tearing up not only for her situation but because she was so brave and still determined to get herself a loving family. Mary today is a strong, beautiful and independent person who has her perfect family. She currently is working towards to getting her social work degree so she can help others find their perfect family. 

xoxo