Relationship with God
What God intended for you goes far beyond anything you can imagine.- Oprah
Religion has always been an interesting subject to me. Growing up I was raised in a very non-traditional Buddhist family. While my family prayed to Buddha and visited temples occasionally they weren't as strict. I was never pushed to believe in what they had believed but was always encouraged to pray.
When I moved to the states my parents sent me and my siblings to an Episcopalian school. This was my first true experience with religion. I ended up attending church and reading the Bible which I thought was very interesting. I found myself so involved with the idea that God is with you no matter where you are and will forgive you for anything. I thought wow this God is pretty amazing. I was so intrigued that I was very close to converting. However when I was 10 I was diagnosed with Alport Syndrome which is a form of chronic kidney failure. Suddenly I found myself angry at Buddha and at God. Isn't God suppose to be a protector? Why was I suffering through this when I did nothing wrong? At this point I found myself so lost I denounced all religions initially becoming an Atheist. This went on for quite sometime. I continued to show respect to all religions but I still found myself angry. Not only was I dealing with this illness I also had to deal with deaths of close friends and family members. I had people coming up to me telling me that they were in a better place and that God had planned it this way. So it was God's plan to take my best friend away at the age of 7 due to heart failure? Who gets heart failure at the age of 7? Even today I am still very uncomfortable when people tell me this. I became even more angry and was leaning towards the path of hating God and religion in general.
I ended up receiving a kidney transplant my senior year of high school. And people continued to tell me to thank God. I thanked my mom who gave me a kidney not God. He wasn't the one who had himself cut open.
A couple years later my last year in college I got caught up in stress and ended up becoming very ill. I was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure yet again. The kidney my mom gave me had rejected. The doctors had told me the chance of getting another kidney and actually surviving the surgery was very slim for me given my condition. For the first time in years I broke down and did something I haven't done in years and that was pray. This isn't one of those inspiration stories trying to convert you believe me the last thing I want to do is pursue you guys into God. I prayed and prayed and fortunately my prayers were answered and somehow I ended up getting another kidney and not only that I ended up recovering 20x faster than my first transplant. Even my doctor complimented me and told me he has never had a patient that had recovered so quickly and so well. This was definitely some other world doing. If you guys heard my prognosis you would also be surprised. During surgery I had almost died due to a blood vessel issue.Never in my life have I felt to grateful and blessed all at the same time.
While I can't proclaim I am 100% religious I definitely believe that there is a higher power watching over us. I can't explain it and I honestly don't think anyone can it is just a matter of believing and as cliche as it sounds having faith. Today I still pray. I don't go to temple or church but I do pray.
Going through what I gone through definitely gave me a new perspective and understanding. It's not about some book and scriptures religion in my opinion is hope. It inspires that even in our darkest hours there is still away.
I hope for those of you out there who still haven't found something to believe in pray. Why not try, what do you have to lose?
xoxo
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